Questa e' proprio divertente :uuuu:
THE CREATION OF THE NUTELL
Much time ago, many, many, many, ma 'na cifra de years ago, at the beginning of the initiation of the mond, there was the caos. One day, God (God is the name of art of Dio), who was disoccupated and annoyed, had a folgorant idea: and so he created the Nutell. And God saw that the Nutell was good, very good, very very good, good 'na cifra. The mangiation of God was long: he manged one trillion of barattols of Nutell, sfrutting the fact that God has not a mam that strills if he sbaffs too much Nutell… And after this mangiation, God invented the “water closed run” (the “cors to the cabinet”), and some Nutell's derivates like the red bubbons, the panz, the cellulit, and ceter and ceter.
Afterofwhich (=”dopodiché”) he invented Adamo and Eva and the Paradise, and he dissed to them: “Now you have all the Paradise, you can do everything, very tutt: you have the permission to eat, to drink, to kiss, to scope, nothing lavor, nothing affit, nothing concors for impiegats, nothing code at the post, nothing IRPEF, ILOR, and ceter and ceter. Only very ozious life: television, telenovels, football, moviols, process of Monday, appeal of Tuesday, cassation of Wednesday, and ceter and ceter. You have gratis restaurants, cinemas, theaters, all the Paradise is yours: air-conditioned, auto-riscaldament, moquette, parquett, tresset, bidet, omelette, eccet, eccet. There's just one thing, ramment, in all the Paradise just one thing absolutely prohibited. Come, come with me in the giardin…”, dissed God: “This is the Nocciol, the alber of the Nutell. Only this alber of the Nutell is prohibited, because I like the Nutell very much, very very much, much 'na cifra, and I want all the Nutell for me”.
During the first times, Adamo and Eva stayed very happy. Adamo used to dir: “What a cool! [“cool” is not in Italian “freddo”, no, “what a cool” means “che culo”] All the Paradise is nostr!”. And ognigiorn they discovered something new: a lot of scoperts, many scoperts, many many scoperts, 'na cifra de scoperts: one day the scopert of the hot water, one day the scopert of the spaghettis, one day the cigarettes, and ceter and ceter. But one day, a thrist day, a very very thrist day, thrist 'na cifra, Adamo and Eva did the scopert of the first colation; and after the scopert of the cappuccino, of the orange suck, of the cornetts, they capiscd that something was mancant. “Eva!”, said Adamo, “Don't you pens that qualcos is mancant here, proprio here, 'ncopp this fett?”; “Second me” Eva risposed “'ncopp the fett you have to mett burr and marmelade”; “No, no Eva, you know that the marmelade skifs me; I want 'ncopp this fett something very particular, very very particular, 'na cifra particular… what do you pens about the Nutell?”; “No, Adamo you are scording that the Signor said that's vietat!”; “Yes, I ramment, but only a little assaggiation, don't succeds nothing!”. And so Adamo scended in the cortil where the alber of the Nutell was, and he prended a small barattol, and spalmed the brown cream on his fett and assaggiated it.
Adamo and Eva didn't have the time to exprimer their godiment that the tuons and fulmins appeared in the ciel and one voice said: “Adamo, Eva, come here! I'm very incazzed with you, very very incazzed, 'na cifra incazzed! How did you permit yourselves to tock my Nutell? Haven't you rammented that it's prohibited?”; “Cazz!”, esclamed Adamo, “It was prohibited! Oh, sorry, God, I'm very very sorry, sorry 'na cifra, God, I really really was completely scordat…” “Don't do the fint tont, Adamo! I'm God, I can see everything, very tutt, and I know that you have deliberatamently assaggiated the Nutell! So you'll have a big punition, a castig for your peccat… But thenwhich (=”poiché”) I'm God, I'm sconfinately good, you can choose, you have two scelts: scelt number one: nothing Nutell for ever and ever in the secolies of the secolies, amen!”; “Nooo!”, Eva incominced to piagnucol, “It's a very tragic thing, very very tragic, tragic 'na cifra!”; “Aspett!” said God “Don't be trop frettolous woman… Scelt number two: you can take the Nutell, no problem, let's prend, prend, but for you is the cacciation from the Paradise. You'll have to labour with the sudor of the front, you'll zapp the terr, you'll have mal of skien and, like this don't bastass, everytime you mang Nutell the malediction of the brufols, of the mal of panz, of the cacarel will be cadent on you!”; “Alé!”, exclamed Adamo, “Thank you God, thank you, it doesn't interess to us the cacciation from Paradise, the important is to have the Nutell!”.
And so Adamo and Eva were cacciated, and this original peccat and this malediction cadded on them and on their descendents, and on the descendents of the descendents. Infact, at alltoday (=”a tuttoggi”), you can see in the publicity all the ragazzs that, to have one miser fett of pan and Nutell, scal the mountains, stay in a tend at fredd and at jazz, and ceter and ceter. But the final pensing of we all is: better fatic and soffer with the Nutell moresoon (=”piuttosto”) that the Terrestr Paradise senz the Nutell.
(Ricevuta by e-mail.) !lol